Twas the week before Christmas
And my belly was big
The baby grew and wiggled within
When on one cold night
I awoke to a grumble
My stomach churned and bubbled with trouble
To the bathroom I flew
With hopes of relief
I tossed my Christmas cookies with no jubilee
I repeated this game
A time or five
Praising the porcelain goddess with each tummy surprise
No comfort in vomit
Made only worse
By a living being fueling this curse
When morning breaks
The clinics open
The nurses scurry in fear of Ebola
No trips to Africa
No mysterious germs
It's but the cursed flu causing this hullabaloo!
A few hours pass
And a two IV bags later
I've lost four pounds when it doesn't even matter
Safe at home
In my soft warm bed
The virus made me exclaim as it came to an end:
Fuck you Flu. And The Flu Shot too.
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